Written October 2025, before the hospitalization. This post was drafted for Patreon but never sent.
Dear friends,
First, thank you. Your support here means more than I can say — especially in a season that has been both deeply difficult for our family.
If you've followed Heather's CaringBridge, you know we recently made it through her endometriosis excision surgery. Recovery has been long and challenging, but she has met it with incredible resilience. Even while healing, she's been a steady anchor for our family, bringing hope and grace on the days when I've struggled most.
Shortly before her surgery, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. That diagnosis came after a manic episode — something I didn't recognize for what it was at the time. In that season, I made decisions I wouldn't have made in a healthier state of mind. Some of those choices carried financial consequences that we're still living with today.
The hardest outcome is that we can't afford to remain on the farm. For the past four years, it's been our home, the place where we built Headley Flower Farm, raised our kids, and grew roots in this community. Letting go is painful.
Our plan now is to move onto a small piece of land on Heather's parents' property. It's a gift of stability for our family in this season of transition, and it also gives us the chance to keep growing flowers for market since we'll be holding onto much of the farm equipment we've built up over the years. So while the farm as we've known it is changing, the heart of it — beauty, growth, and community — can still continue in a new way.
Headley Flower Farm, 2024
Many of you have already supported us in tangible, grace-filled ways: by sharing our story, sending encouragement, bringing meals, or even donating financially. Please know how much this has meant to us. It has helped us feel less alone in this transition, and reminded us that community is real even when everything feels in flux.
As for me, I've been working construction with my brother-in-law to keep the bills paid while applying for other jobs. I don't think construction is sustainable for me long-term — it doesn't draw on my best skills — so I would be grateful for prayers and encouragement as I search for work that can provide stability for our family.
One of the hardest and most regrettable parts of this journey was resigning from my role at the church during my manic episode. I wasn't prepared, and the decision caused harm to the church, my family, and myself. I've spoken with the staff to share my regret and seek reconciliation, but I still carry the weight of that choice.
Even in all this loss, I'm holding onto hope: hope that our family can remain strong together, that I'll find meaningful and sustainable work, and that Headley Flower Farm will one day return in a new form. For now, the farm is on pause, but we're trusting that this isn't the end of the story.
I'm deeply grateful for Heather's resilience and steady presence through all of this — her hope, wisdom, and grace have anchored our family in ways I can't fully put into words.
Thank you for standing with us, for seeing us in both the beautiful and the broken parts of our journey. Your steady support helps us keep going.
With gratitude,
Matt
